[Music]
At this year's Olympic Games in Paris, I noticed that more mics have been used, right?
To pick up the atmosphere, to pick up kind of like the ambiance of the place, of the competitions,
and I thought it was great. What it also picked up, however, was the athletes
talking to themselves. And I thought that was so interesting and so cool to see because,
or actually to hear, because we've seen it before, but we don't always hear what they say, right?
And it was interesting for me to see how different people or athletes talk to themselves.
Like, you have those, I go like, yeah, come on, let's go, you can do it, you have those that give
themselves instructions, extend your arm fully and take a deep breath. And then you have those
that kind of get upset with themselves when things don't work out and they go like,
come on, what you're doing, you better than that. And they are obviously upset.
And I thought it was such an interesting study to see the different athletes talk to themselves
and see also the effect that has. And one thing is for sure though, every athlete has some type
of self-talk, right? It's either internal or it's out loud. And the out loud is obviously the one
that we see, but there's so much more happening inside of athletes that we cannot really see or hear
witness, you know? But I love this technique of self-talk and that's what I want to talk about today.
What is it? Is it really, you know, a whole technique that, you know, is super complicated and we
have to study and learn or what is behind it? Why does it even work? What's the, what's the whole point
of self-talk? And that's where I want to dive into with you today. So welcome to the healthy
& aligned podcast. My name is Lisa. I am your host of this podcast and I'm also a mindset and a
tapping coach for high performance athletes. And I love to talk about all things mindset, especially
when it's related to becoming a version of ourselves that we really desire to be and remove everything
that is in the way, you know, so that we can really truly live that life of our dreams and achieve
the goals that we have set for ourselves. And that's what I do in this podcast. That's what I do with
my tapping videos that I upload on YouTube and that's also what I do in the courses that I offer.
So today's topic, self-talk, I think is a very good example of how something that even comes
natural to most of us can have such a powerful effect. It's such a, it's such an important and good
method and obviously not only athletes do it. It happens often before we have to do something
courageous, something that is outside of a comfort zone. We start like mumbling to ourselves.
Like, oh yeah, come on, you can do it, you can do it, you know, like dig a deep breath and go for it.
So it's probably known to everyone, right? That self-talk, that pep talk that we give ourselves.
And before I dissect what that self-talk is, how it works, blah, blah, blah, I today want to take
a little detour to get there, but it'll make sense. So before we talk about self-talk, I want to talk
about mindset and how a mindset is built. So mindset is basically the collection of our values
and our beliefs, belief system for that matter. And based on that, we develop perspectives and
attitudes and specific behaviors, right? So those are all part of our mindset.
But the question is how is a, how is a mindset developed? Like how does it come to be, right? And
I want to focus on the topic of beliefs in this context because beliefs are basically how we
make sense of the world. What we think is the truth, the truth about ourselves, the truth about
other people, about our environment, about our context, about anything pretty much. Anything that we
see that we do, that we react to, that we don't react to, that is based in our belief system.
And I will believe system then informs our perspectives, right? Our attitudes because if that's how
I understand the world around me, my attitude towards that world, that environment or those people
is obviously based in that. So I believe so super important. And then the question might be,
but how do we build beliefs? Like where do they come from? What we're just born with beliefs? Is
that how it goes? And the answer is yes and no, we are not necessarily born with them, but we're
born into them because our childhood, the way we're raised, the environment we grew up in, the
culture, the society, our neighbors, our teachers, our siblings, obviously our parents, all of these
things inform our belief system. And many, many beliefs, like especially core beliefs that we have
are built in the early years of our childhood. Like, I mean, I'm not a psychologist. I didn't do
the research, but experts say probably until the age of seven is when the majority of your core
beliefs are built, are created and set as the foundation of how you see your world and how you
create your world. But that's not when it ends. We continuously create new beliefs based on our
experiences, based on things we learn, things we hear, things we see other people do, and how we make
sense of that. So even right now, why I'm telling you this, this might be a way for you to create a
new belief. It could be, I've maybe just started creating the belief for you that, oh, it's my parents
fault, you know, because I said, well, in the first seven years, your environment shapes your core
beliefs, and you could go like, well, I spent most of my time in the first seven years with my parents,
they're very outspoken, they're very, you know, specific people, and they created a belief system
that leads to me today to not be successful in whatever I do. You know, like, you could, this could
be happening right now, you know, so we always create new beliefs constantly. And the thing is,
or we shape the beliefs that we have, correct them or confirm them. And the thing is that our mind
will always look for proof that what we believe is true to be true. So if your parents, a classic
example from the money mindset world is, if your parents would say like, you know, rich people,
they're kind of arrogant, rude, evil, a halls, whatever, that might be a belief that has cemented
in your brain, that people who have money are not the nicest people. You want to be a nice person.
So, you know, that means that you can never have a lot of money because then you would turn into
a mean cruel person. You know, things like that are classic examples. And then what we do when
the mind is looking for proof is we take that belief and we see people who have money,
who do things wrong or who act in a way that we don't approve of, right? And they were like, see,
it's the evil money people, you know, they did that. They are, you know, the reason they don't even
pay enough taxes and, you know, they're the reason why I have to suffer. And I'm working only for
rich people to have more money or whatever, whatever, you know, it is that you tell yourself based
on that belief. And the mind will be continuously on the lookout and interpret situation in a specific
way that it proves you right. It proves your beliefs right. Now, how is a belief formed? I said that
it's based in experiences, based on things that we hear, based on things that we see our upbringing.
And what happens is that we think something. And a belief is pretty much a repeated thought.
If you hear someone say, oh, rich people are evil, you know, maybe that doesn't do anything to you.
But if you keep repeating that thought and you're like, oh, I actually think that person might be
right. And maybe rich people are evil. Hmm, I think people with money are evil. And then you start
looking for the proof. And then, you know, you keep repeating that thought over and over and over and
over again. And eventually you believe that to be true. So you have created a belief. So believe
are repeated thoughts. That's it. You know, like we make it out to be some super important big deal,
but that's it. It's just something that you continuously go over and over again in your mind
to the point that you want to be right. So you'll make sure that you are right or you might make
sure that you are right. So that's basically what a mindset is, right? It is a collection of these
repeated thoughts that we turn into the way that we see our world and to the way that we perceive
our reality and the evidence that we find, you know, to prove our point and core values. You know,
core values. I don't want to go into today in this episode. I have recorded an entire episode on
core values, even with like exercises to help you find your core values. So I recommend that if
you haven't listened to that one, just go there. Let me see. That was number 35 34. Sorry. Number 34,
episode 34 is the one about core values. So yeah, that's basically what our mindset is and it really
reflects back on our sense of self. So it's how we see other people, but it's also how we see our
self. That's how we build that identity of ourselves. And let's bring it back now to the topic of
self-talk. So I said that a belief is a repeated thought. It's something that we say to ourselves over
and over and over again. And that thought can be set out loud and it can be set out silently within
our brains, right? So as long as we repeat it, it doesn't really matter. And some of these beliefs
that we tell ourselves that we have created for ourselves or empowering us, I have that
unwavering belief that I am very creative. And I keep seeing proof for that. So I'm creative,
you know, I've been told that my entire life, I have been telling that myself my entire life. And
I believe that to be true about myself. And the thing is, it's definitely an empowering belief. It's a
it's a serving belief that helps me around my business, run my life and just be good about myself.
So yeah, I am creative. I'm not going to touch that belief, you know. Then there are other beliefs
that are what we call limiting beliefs, things that hold us back that keep us small. I gave the
example of money is only for evil people. That is something that is going to keep you from having
more money, right? So that's limiting you in a way. I had for a long time the belief that I'm not athletic.
That was very limiting or that I am just not good with numbers, you know, like the classic, oh,
you're creative, you get with languages, but logic and numbers are not your thing. And I bought into
that and for a long time, I believed that to be true. So supporting serving beliefs and limiting
keeping us small beliefs, right? So being aware of the thoughts that we have, the beliefs that we
have formed is super helpful. And self-talk can then help us redirect our thoughts into
the direction that we want to go. So to create more empowering beliefs and go away from those
limiting beliefs or rephrase those reprogrammed those limiting beliefs with beliefs that are serving.
Like who says that money makes people evil? Maybe those people were evil before and the money
just gave them more opportunity to live their evil lives, you know, or to be louder with their
with their life. And there's so many people who are very rich and very, a very abundant life that are
great, kind, loving, caring people, right? So we get to reprogram these beliefs, we get to replace
those limiting beliefs with new serving beliefs. And self-talk is definitely a very powerful tool to do
that. So let's look at it. What really is self-talk? Self-talk is pretty much the dialogue that you have
with yourself, right? Your inner internal dialogue. And usually we have two, two parties in that
dialogue. This is not a monologue, right? And the one party is the observing mind. It's the part of
you that can say, "Ah, that is a thought, that is an emotion." Like the part of the mind that can
just watch and listen and take it in, right? Which is also a proof that you are not your thoughts,
because if you can look at your thoughts and be like, "I just had the thought of x, y, z,
it's separate from you," right? And that other party is the, I want to say, the thinking part, right?
It's the part that often is, let me say that differently. It's the voice. It's the voice that you have
inside your head. It's the speaker in your head. And maybe we have different voices, maybe we have
empowering voices. We have critical voices. We have annoying voices or whatever. There is a whole
study connected to that, to the inner dialogues that we have. And usually it's a critic, or for most of us,
the strongest voice is the inner critic or the inner judge, that kind of like continuously evaluates
how we're doing. I have a going right now. I have an inner voice telling me, "Oh, this is not the
most eloquent way of saying this. This is not as structured as you wanted this episode to be.
Did you get lost in your thoughts?" You just said, "Um, that's not a nice way to record an episode.
I have this ongoing voice over critic in my head going right now, but I also know that that is
just the voice. That is just something that is there. And I will deal with it later. If I listen to
that voice, I would never record any episode of my podcast because there's always something that I
could do differently, that I could improve on and stuff. And there is a time when I listen to that
voice, maybe when I edit, maybe afterwards, where I go like, "Okay, how can I be better? What
did it go well? How can I make sure I improve that for the next time?" Great. I use that voice as
information, but I won't let it hold me back in a way. And so those are the two parties, the observer
and the voice. And we have this ongoing dialogue in our head. I... Quick site note on that, I heard that
men can just think nothing. I don't know if that's true because for me, that definitely isn't true.
And I have yet to meet a woman that can't think nothing. I have a continuous dialogue happening
in my head. There is tons of voices. There are different types of voices. I have a narrator
of my life as well. I don't know. So for me, the idea of turning it off is just seems very
intriguing. And I haven't managed to do that yet. So I'm really curious if there are any
female listeners to this podcast who managed to quiet their mind in a way that they have no
dialogue happening. So I think especially if you are like me, maybe has nothing to do with gender,
I don't know, maybe I've been brainwashed to believe that. But if you are like me and you have a
continuous dialogue happening in your head with different types of voices, being aware of them
is so helpful. Knowing each different voice and maybe even giving them different names or like
separating them from each other has been super helpful for me and super powerful in the way
that I show up and the way that I deal with it. Because those voices, they create the thoughts
that we repeat. Right? And that's what creates those beliefs. So...
The question is what type of thoughts do you have? Do you have empowering thoughts or do you have
limiting thoughts? And you get to influence that. You get to change that. You get to create that
own dialogue within yourself and replace those limiting thoughts with more empowering thoughts.
Right? Instead of saying like, "Oh my god, I will never hit that penalty kick. I have never done
it in the past and I will never be able to do that in the future." You could say, "Well, maybe I
haven't hit a penalty kick in the past. Maybe I never scored that goal, but who says that I can't
do it now?" So maybe today is the first time. You know? If you can easily rephrase and reframe your
thoughts and the difference between doing it in your head and saying it out loud is that saying it
out loud gives you more power because it mutes that other voice. It's quote unquote easier to do it
out loud because the voices in your head sometimes are really loud and very powerful and replacing
that with another loud powerful thought internally is sometimes more difficult than just saying it
out loud because if I say it out loud in that moment, I cannot think of anything else.
So if I say, "I am a great podcaster," now the critique talks to me, but while I say that sentence,
there's no way any other thought can come into my head. So using that tool of especially
loud self-talk can help us replace specific beliefs that we have, slowly but surely create new
belief systems for ourselves. They have been studies about this topic. There's one specific study that
I want to refer to which has been done with Greek athletes and they kind of like observed and
documented the self-talk of these athletes and they found different categories. So they
understood, like they analyzed what they said and then categorized that into eight different
categories that I would like to give you because for me that was very helpful to understand
what type of self-talk there is to make sure that I stay in the type of self-talk that is helpful
for me. So let's go quickly through the categories to have a better understanding.
The first category is the psychosoil-fab, it's the push yourself up, the hype talk, which is the,
let's go, let's do this, like, woo-hoo, you know, like when you see athletes do that or you do that
to yourself, like you just pumping yourself up, you just like giving yourself that hype energy,
the good kind of stress, right? Then there is the confidence, it's that I can do this, I made for this,
I'm born for this, I'm ready for this, it's the giving yourself that boost of confidence to actually
do it. Then there is the instruction, that's the third category, that's the okay, just keep
yourself low and fully, whatever, fully extend your arms or keep your hats steady, like I don't
know, I don't know exactly what it is for you depending on your sport, you know, you would give
yourself sort of like training instructions in that moment, especially on those things where you
need to be reminded of, maybe something that keep you going. So that instruction, the fourth one is
what they call anxiety control, which is like okay, just relax, just chill, just take a deep breath,
you know, like don't give into anxiety, just, you know, be here, be in the moment, and it helps you
to control your emotions in that situation. Those four are, that's three, those four are the,
sort of like supporting type of self-talk categories, the ones that help you out in that situation,
and then there are, surprise, surprise, four that are keeping you small or are not necessarily
helping you in that situation. So that would be worry, I'm not prepared enough, I don't think I can
do this, is it, am I in the right form, did I do the right training, la la la la, so those are the
worries that come up and people say that to themselves internally, but also out loud. Then there is
disengagement, which is, I'm out, I'm not doing this anymore, I'm not part of it anymore, I feel treated
unfairly so I'm not doing it, it's disengaging from your activity and people say that, like, get
frustrated and express that as a form of self-talk. There is somatic, somatic, somatic fatigue, there you go,
which is, I'm tired, I'm exhausted, I feel like completely drained, I've reached my limit,
you know, like when you just feel low and you tell yourself I'm too tired for this, I can't do it, I'm done.
And the last one is, my favorite category, probably irrelevant thoughts that we have, like,
I'm hungry, what's for dinner, or, oh, I shouldn't forget to get milk on the way home after practice,
or whatever, you know, like super irrelevant talk that has nothing to do with whatever you're
working on right now, whatever you try to focus on right now. And people say that out loud as well,
in their head, but also out loud. So you want to focus more on those four empowering ones and catch
yourself when you do the other ones and then replace it, right? And that's why I feel like categories
are great because when in doubt you can always just hype yourself up, we can always like when you say,
I'm so tired, you know, like you go into the fatigue talk and you're like, I'm so exhausted,
you can recognize that and then go, but I can do it anyways, you know, I'm ready for it, let's go,
let's activate that last, you know, ounce of energy that's left in me or whatever. So
we can always replace it and having these categories is super helpful. And when in doubt,
hype yourself up or give yourself instructions, you know, just tell yourself to get up and move one
foot in front of the other, whatever it is. So you can train this, yes, of course, you can train this,
like you can train anything else. It's like being aware of it, being aware of your thoughts,
understanding what keeps going through your head when you train or when you compete and then start,
do it out loud because no one cares, do it out loud to tune out that negative self-talk that you have
in your head and just say out loud all the positive things that you can tell yourself,
you are made for this, you have trained for this, you are ready for this, you have the body to
do this, you have the focus, you just need to tune in, you just block out everything else, you take a
deep breath, you know, you combine those categories, the hype up, the instructions, the, what else was it?
The confidence boost and the anxiety control. So you go like, take a deep breath now, nothing is
important, I need to focus on the ball and the goalie because I am made for penalty kicks, I might not
have done it in the past, but the past is the past, all that counts is right now, I can do this,
I train for this, I'm ready for this, let's go. You know, like that's the combination of all of
these different categories that you can just use as your tool to talk to yourself instead of saying,
like, shit, I'm gonna mess up, I'm not ready to do this, what am I gonna do? What do they think to put
me here to do the penalty kick? I'm gonna mess this up, you know, like, no, you hear yourself think
that way, you hear yourself talk that way, just replace it, just say something different, and
though more we do it, the easier it gets, and the crucial thing as with training is do it
all the time, do it when you feel good and do it when you feel not so good, but don't leave it
till the day of the penalty kick, of the competition where you stand there, if that's the first time
you start talking to yourself, if that's the first time you give yourself a positive self-talk
and empowering self-talk and you start working on that belief,
chances are that it might not give you the kick that you want it, you know, because the more we do
it, the more we create those beliefs, the easier it'll be to tap into that strength that we have built
in the self-talk training, and just include it in your training, just include it in your rehearsals,
in your repetitions, in your, you know, practice games, they just keep doing it, even when nothing's
at stake, make it part of your routine, because then you don't have to think about it when it matters,
then it just comes to you naturally and automatically when it matters, so yeah, that's pretty much all
I have to say about self-talk, it's not rocket science, it is what we think it is, it is always, at
least I believe, good to understand why something works and why something is important, because then
it helps to really make sure that we are using it the right way, so build a new mindset through
empowering self-talk, that should be the title of this episode, and that's what it's all about,
and the more you do it, the easier you get, like with everything else. Okay, that's it for today's
episode, I am happy that you listen to this one, even though my inner critic tells me that it was a
bit chaotic and a bit all over the place, and not as streamlined as I like episodes to be, I hope
you enjoyed it anyways, and the next episode will be about building resilience and being a resilient
athlete, so that's exciting and super important if you want to build a legacy, right, if you're in it
for the long term, so stay tuned for that one next Tuesday, make sure you subscribe to this podcast,
and that you subscribe to my channel, to not miss any future episodes, and to help me out, and
feed the algorithm, and the right kind of food, and until I see you next Tuesday, I wish you a beautiful reast of your day.
